Online dating has spawned lots of bad behaviors.
First, there was “ghosting” – a tactic used to break off a relationship by cutting off all communication.
Now, “breadcrumbing” is the new problem on the online dating scene. When someone is breadcrumbing you, it means they’re leading you on and have one foot out the door. They put in just enough effort to keep you interested, but in a way where you’re kept at arm’s length to justify the inevitable: leaving.
Dr. Marni Feuerman, author of Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart about Healthy Relationships, teaches us how to spot breadcrumbing and how to avoid it:
Tell your potential partner what you are looking for. If you know exactly what you want, do not settle for anything else. Let them know why you are choosing to date online and what your romantic vision is. If there’s does not match with yours, chances are it won’t work out.
Communication is key
Similar to setting standards through communication, being consistent about how you communicate is essential. Be confident to open the discussion as to why you both have been talking for weeks but haven’t gone out on a date. Or why they never discuss topics that are deep and meaningful. It’s okay to ask these questions because it saves you a lot of time in the process.
Hold them accountable
If you feel like someone is trying to breadcrumb you, call them out! It’s only fair to hold them accountable for their actions when they are playing on your emotions. It’s unfair and you are worthy of being treated with respect. If you don’t hear from them in a week and they magically reappear, don’t give them the satisfaction of playing nice. Stand up for yourself and take the high road. There are plenty of potential partners that will give you the attention you deserve.